Blog by Birch Cooper, MA, LMHC
Based on material previously posted by Birch Cooper, MA, LMHC
Keeping an eye out for a text from a new romantic interest, anticipating a job offer or waiting for test results from the doctor. Each of these scenarios can tug at a unique set of fears but one common factor in all these situations is uncertainty. People are impacted by uncertainty to different degrees; some uncertainty can be healthy and exciting! However, for some, or when it is about something of paramount importance it can have the opposite effect leaving one feeling drained, distracted or stuck.
In modern life, we experience many forms of uncertainty. Depending on what is at stake, it can surface from the inability to plan or move forward, fears about unfavorable results or facing the general unpredictability of everyday life. An underlying theme of many situations that lead to uncertainty is control. In fact, much of the discomfort around uncertainty stems from a disruption of our sense of control.
Just as people experience uncertainty to varying degrees, successful uncertainty management can vary based on the unique individual and situation. Different strategies may resonate with you so I have included various methods to cope with uncertainty. You may find it ideal to use one, two or a combination of several strategies below:
Accept & let go:
As I mentioned, much of the discomfort with uncertainty stems from the disruption of our sense of control. Acceptance starts with the ability to recognize that this is something that you do not have control over. In line with this, it can also be helpful to remind yourself that you have done what you can and it is time to focus on trying to let go of the results.
Part of letting go is avoiding constant check-ins, it can be helpful to limit seeking updates or information to specific times of day (e.g. 9am and 4pm). Once set, it is important to honor these set times. Try to avoid placing check-in times near or around bedtime.
Practice self-care:
Continue to do things in order to take care of yourself. Whether it is maintaining a regular sleep routine, writing a list of things you are grateful for or going on a walk and listening to music that you love; self-care is important to practice on a daily basis. Focusing on day-to-day activities in times of uncertainty helps us to remain in the here and now.
Take note of your thinking:
Try to make yourself additionally aware of thoughts that may be contributing to uncertainty-related-anxiety. It is paramount to try and do this in a non-judgemental way.
A simple way to start is by taking mental note when you are having a thought that contributes to your fears around uncertainty. Thinking to oneself, "Here I am having that ... thought again" or “Here I am worrying about X again,” can help reduce the time spent thinking about the situation and help avoid worst-case scenario thinking. Again, it is important not to beat yourself up for having the thought, just take mental that you had or are having it.
Seek support:
Social support that includes friends, family or a therapist can be beneficial on a daily or weekly basis but can be particularly helpful in times of uncertainty. When socializing with friends and family this can but doesn't have to include venting about the situation you are uncertain about. With some preferring instead to simply participate in activities they enjoy. If you are going to share it helps to be mindful of who you choose to discuss the situation with in order to avoid exacerbating stress and uncertainty. Focus on someone who will be accepting, offer assurance or perhaps encourage a shift in your perspective.
Take a deep breath:
When uncertainty leads to anxiety we tend to take shallow, short breaths. Reminding ourselves to take deep breaths can help us regain a sense of calm and relax. If you want to take it to the next level there is empirical support that ‘box breathing’ for just one minute can help mitigate anxiety inducing a calm but focused state. There are instructions and helpful graphics on the download page of this site.
Although, none of these will act as a silver bullet that will wipe away any worry related to uncertainty, I hope that you find one or two of them helpful. It is important to remember that coping with uncertainty is a practice, a skill that can be developed over time like meditation.
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